Hi blog. It’s been awhile. Life has changed for the worst. I’ve gone through things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Constant pains inside the body, massive sleep deprivation, loneliness, failure to progress in life, feeling as if I’m going backwards. Is there still hope in this life? Are there things to look forward to in life? Should I keep dwelling on the past or plan goals for the future? Is the burden to heavy to lift?
I’ve worked at a large retailer for about 6 years and I’ve been in an uphill battle for that amount of time. My career has gone backwards because of variables that were out of my control. I am mainly a passive person who relies on how others think of me in order to feel good about myself. I’ve been dealing with a painful physical ailment for 2 years that takes lots of energy away from myself. I was met with opposition in this new location and people didn’t trust my judgement. I didn’t have confidence in myself, nor did I have the energy to keep up with the job at hand. I have now stepped down and took a hit in pay. Despite the time I’ve spent trying to get ahead in this career, I’ve suffered a pay decrease. Before all this happened, I could’ve taken action that required confrontation to the allegations against me. I told myself not to cause a ruckus and to avoid confrontation and that it would get better. This has been the wrong choice. I’ve learned a lot about people; I can’t call anyone a true friend. It seems as if there are more people who’d like to see me fall flat on my face. Hypocrisy is prominent, and perception is extremely biased and subjective. The job is too fast paced, sometimes too fast paced for communication.
What is next for Carl? I’m not sure. I’m a musician, so there are outlets to make money as a musician, although they are few and far in between. I quit my band that I’ve been with for 7 years because I wasn’t able to make the gigs for the band. I tried so hard to make my schedule open for gigs, and was for a time, but ever since the transfer to this new store it has been difficult. I quit the band about 2 months ago, and things just went backwards. The band had it’s faults besides my attendance, but if it weren’t for my job I probably would still be in the band. I just couldn’t make gigs that only had a week’s notice. Anxiety is a huge factor and keeps tearing my life apart. It’s prominent in my life, and it seems as if there is no end in sight. I am anxious about my job, my band, and this affects me to the point that I just shut down if it gets to be too much. I stop answering my phone, I stop calling people, I stop being motivated, because I get too anxious about failing to uphold the responsibilities of the band. I can’t keep going on like this. Something has to give. Running out of coping mechanisms.
Visit our band’s website at http://www.slackjawbluesband.com for more upcoming gig information!
Hey blog. Long time no talk. So recently I’ve run into a really critical problem with my PC. I’m getting a white screen and a system failure whenever I start up a game or watch a video. About 10 seconds after starting any video or game, my monitor displays a white screen and the computer proceeds to shutdown/restart. I posted on a self-help computer forum (Tom’s Hardware Forums) and I’ve gotten two responses. I either have a problem with my motherboard, my graphics card, or my PSU. One response told me it could be my PSU or graphics card; the other stated it could be my PSU or motherboard. I figured since they both said PSU, I’ll replace that part first and see if it gets rid of the problem.
I’ve ordered the PSU from Amazon. It’s a Corsair CX600 600 watt PSU bought for $60. It is supposed to arrive today. I signed up for the 30-day free trial for Amazon’s Prime service, which gave me free two-day shipping for the purchase. Today is Friday and I’m glad I won’t have to wait the whole weekend to get this part. I’ve never replaced a PSU on a computer before, so hopefully I don’t destroy my PC in the process. The most I’ve done is replacing RAM sticks or a graphics card. I’m assuming it’s not as difficult as I’m thinking it might be, but I might be wrong. I wish I had a spare good PC to use until then, but I don’t. I could hook up my sister’s old PC but it’s at least 15 years old. I do, however, remember playing FFXI on my sister’s PC so it’s not too bad I guess.
Dealing with no entertainment from my PC has been difficult. I am struggling to get rid of my boredom every day. As a guy with ADD, it’s difficult to find something you can really stick on. I’m glad I have my guitar and my phone or else I’d be going crazy right about now. I don’t have a TV, so all my entertainment is either from my PC or my phone connected to WiFi and Netflix/YouTube.
I was planning out a build for a game called Path Of Exile on a website called “PoEBuilder.com” and my pc did the white screen shutdown thing. I was stunned…how could my pc not be able to handle a simple skill-tree viewer for a video game? It’s not even a game or a video, just a website. But it seemed to be too much for my PSU/GraphicsCard/Motherboard to handle. I’m feeling trapped, and I hope that this new PSU fixes the problem
Anyway, wish me luck on my endeavors. Rock on
So I thought this would be a great time for an update. I am currently in the band called Slackjaw.
You know what?
I really don’t feel like making a public post about my life, as there is nothing extremely interesting going on at this point.
I have recently purchased a new pc. I didn’t build it myself, but if I did I probably could’ve gotten a much better pc for my money. My roommate has purchased a custom built PC; he bought the parts and put the computer together himself. He now has a better computer than me, when it used to be the other way around.
I’m not mad, but I’m a bit disappointed in my decision. I just felt I was getting a good deal anyway.
Most games run absolutely fine. And my current PC is absolutely easily upgradable.
Now, I am currently running duel monitors (one small one big) in an extremely funny, and awesome way. My awesome roommate is currently letting me borrow his old monitor, because he got a new one. Why isn’t he running duel monitors himself you ask? Well his new video card has a DVI, and HDMI outputs. He doesn’t have an HDMI cable, and his new monitor didn’t come with one. So he let me borrow his big 24in widescreen.
He’s a very nice dude. But I’m DESPERATELY going to miss the big ass monitor when he finally asks for it back!
He also let me borrow an XBOX controller to plug into my PC. I’m not sure where he got it from, but I plugged it into a USB port. It was like heaven; every game I tried it on recognized everything. I have an old Logitech Dual Action controller and it was far from a seamless integration. I had to manually set each button on the controller to a key on the keyboard. It’s possible, but it’s very very slow.
I do like the Logitech a bit better for sidescrollers, because of the placement of the directional pad. It feels like an old PS controller, which I like.
I’ve been trying out a whole bunch of new games from Steam: Blocks That Matter (from an Indie Game bundle), Dead Space 2, Realm of the Mad God, Sanctum (part of an Indie Bundle), Bastion Demo, and others. I might do a couple reviews in the near future! Stay tuned if you like gaming!
Come see us at the legendary Stone Pony on Jan 8th!..the venue that gave Bruce Springsteen a break into the music business! This is a big venue and it’s gonna be a great show! Opening up for Splintered Sunlight (Great Grateful Dead tribute band).
Doors open at 7:30! Come early and stay late! Tweet me @guitarguy234 for details. $10 per ticket!
Also check out our Reverbnation for upcoming shows, gig information, reviews, sound clips, etc….everything you need to rock out with us haha!
I wonder how Jaco Pastorius composed “The Chicken”. Was he conforming to the horns by writing it in Bb? It’s definitely an interesting chord progression when you think about it.
Here’s the chord progression:
Bb x4 – the tonic
Eb x2 – the 4th
D, G – then the major 3rd, and the major 6th to Bb (also the 4th of D)
C x4 – the 2nd of Bbmajor, the 4th of Gmajor, and then back to
Bb, Ab, F, Eb, C#, Bb, Ab…..Bb